Punky Fu

False face must hide what the false heart doth know.
Macbeth, 1. 7

We watched Catfish unfolding, huddled together for comfort, bracing against what we knew would be the inevitable outcome of an Idealized dream ne’er-cum-true. Suspense hitching our weight, ratcheting tension, like the slow cranking of a roller coaster to its initial and highest peak, knowing that soon, with the protagonist, we would be spiraling downward at a breakneck speed.

The masks behind the masks - always prepared with another story to support the last fabrication - were all too familiar. How could we not relate, when this experience so paralleled our own? Although our empathy quickly evaporated, turning away when the protagonists didn’t realize their own rationalizations - their own pride was the mask for their faults. For our own sakes, however, this lesson would not go unlearned.

We returned to where we had began our evening - our place of quiet, of sanctuary, and feeling quite agitated, I knew that sleep would elude me lest I shift my focus. I gazed longingly at my love, her small hands gently stroking the scrabble on my cheek she so adores, and I knew that this was the place of fullness, completion and circularity: in her arms. And so as I allowed sleep to take me, we ended the evening as we began - a lover’s embrace and this time, my arms filled her body, my lungs filled with her scent, and my heart filled with an unearthly gratitude knowing I had more to be thankful for than I could ever truly express.

9 April 2011 • tig internet asshats base manipulation cyber-stalking every kind of creep pathetic

Upon entering the new domain, she was at first surprised. Here in this new “community,” there were people of all sorts with welcoming invitations for friendship. It was almost flattering. Almost.

But the new people weren’t that different from the others - it was all just instrumental behavior, repackaged, remixed, and subtle enough to fool most others. But not her. Not for long.

Ever the eternal iconoclast - she had taken the necessary steps - withstood the rejection of the world. Being ostracized was more of a comfortable blanket. So despite what the new “friends” might think, she would not engage in the joining.

When the Tiger came, he growled mightily. The scent of the prey and predator prickled his nostrils and with bared fang, he quickly set about dismantling the machinations and manipulations of the world.

Together they traded war stories. She sorted through the detritus of the world - and saw with clarity the same songs and dances. Together they compared machinations and manipulations. She found paths through the labyrinth and fathomed the unfathomable.

She, the eternal non-conformist, with the strength borne of years of forging, reinforced her status as the new Keeper at the human zoo. She realized that they were all impostors, that the interactions were illusory. She knew that like fairies, they needed you to believe in them to exist and now, there would be no more room for pretenders.

Scales from the eyes- with elegance and grace, full from the prowl of night, she returned her focus to the real. And with the Tiger, strode off into the dawn of happily ever after.

22 March 2011 • lia tig internet and everything base manipulation needy-greedies pathetic

Attachment Styles and Intimacy

Originally conceptualized by Bowlby, Attachment Theory emphasizes childhood relationships as the basis for our templates for adult (especially romantic) relationships. Simply put, Bowlby identified three attachment styles:

Secure, Anxious / Ambivalent, and Avoidant / Dismissive.

Secure Attachment results from strong and reliable bonds between children and their caretakers. The caretakers are reliable, loving and consistent. A strong bond develops between both.

Children with Secure Attachment:
* Are able to separate from their parents
* Seek comfort from parents when frightened
* Meet their parents return with positive emotions
* Prefer their parents to strangers

Adults with Secure Attachment:
* Are more trusting, open and understanding
* Tend to have good self-esteem
* Form lasting interdependent relationships
* Are comfortable being close to and sharing feelings with partners
* Can find a balance between intimacy (the revealing or sharing of all aspects of self) and independence
* Approach relationship problems and issues with their partners in a constructive manner

When caretakers are inconsistent or overly protective, the resulting style is called Anxious or Ambivalent Attachment.

Children with Anxious / Ambivalent Attachment:
* Are preoccupied with caregiver’s availability
* Do not deal well with either separation or return of the parents
* Are reluctant to warm to new caregivers

Adults with Anxious / Ambivalent Attachment:
* Are constantly worried and anxious about their love life
* Crave and desperately need high levels of intimacy, approval and responsiveness from partners, becoming overly dependent but, they never stop questioning their partner’s love (“do you really love me?”).
* Are obsessed with their relationships and everything that happens in them
* Tend to be less trusting and have less positive views about themselves and their partners, constantly concerned that their partners will leave them
* Rarely feel completely loved and they experience extreme emotional highs and lows
* Are hard to satisfy emotionally; you can’t love them enough, or be close enough to them, and they constantly monitor their relationships for problems.

Ironically, their need for love makes it easy for anxious individuals to be taken advantage of when it comes to love and romance, which in the long run can create even more suspicion and doubt.

And finally, when the primary caregivers are dismissive or ignore their children, and are neutral to uncaring or apathetic about the children, it is called Avoidant / Dismissive Attachment.

Children with Avoidant / Dismissive Attachment:
* May be wary of strangers.
* Become greatly distressed with the parent leaves
* Do not appear to be comforted by the return of the parent
* Treat strangers the same as parents

Adults with Avoidant / Dismissive Attachment:
* Are reluctant to become close to others
* Have both a high desire and high discomfort with emotional closeness
* Don’t like being dependent on a partner or having someone be dependent on them
* Deal with rejection by emotionally distancing themselves
* Mistrust their partners and are more self-sufficient, cynical, and independent
* View themselves as unworthy of a relationship
* Are more apt to invest energies elsewhere (e.g., career or hobbies)
* Get easily annoyed with their relational partners and often display negative feelings and hostility toward their loved ones.

28 May 2010 • psychology internet cyber-stalking every kind of creep needy-greedies pathetic Whinge

Ich habe ihm die Leviten gelesen …

From my Stumble Blog - an example of the stupids - or How Not To Interact with Shao Chi, American Warrior.

Below are past messages from a typical internet dood (just another Needy-Greedy). This is the silly crap that I put up with every ding dong day - some feeb guy who just refuses to accept the reality that I am simply not interested in having any kind of communication. Finally I put my foot down and squished his rotten little balls.

Below is my final response. Enough already.

We-were-wolf: I find there is only one universal truth: Some people are too stupid for words and one should never underestimate that.

Case in point: Despite repeated attempts at inane attention-clamoring disguised as some ridiculous sort of communication that have been ignored, you have shown that you are clearly too stupid to take a hint.
That your child-like banter falls squarely into the category of “too stupid for words” seems to elude you by my lack of them in response to you. The underestimation was my doing which I am now taking measures to amend.
Consider this our first and final communication and if you take only one thing from it, know this: nobody cares about responding to you. You are like a chimpanzee with a keyboard banging away and thinking it the words of Shakespeare.
Do the online community a favor and take up masturbating with sandpaper.
- 1:56pm
Shawnhambler: It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. That was a quote from thing thing I stumbeled upoin this mornign - have a great day!:)
- 11:53am
Shawnhambler: What have you been doing? Cripresx - yeah so how is everything going what are you doing now? I don’t know if I am going to work tomorrow or just golfing…………..Walked away from work yesterday - Boss what being a dink so I walked and came home and never went back today - seem him as I was riding my bike to the Golf Course. I never went out just to the range and drank beer between buckets …..
- Mar 31, 8:05pm
Shawnhambler: Bonjour
- Mar 31, 7:46pm
Shawnhambler: how’s the weather your way sweetheart? very cold here -22c
- Dec 15, 2008 7:27pm
Shawnhambler: hey beautiful how have you been keeping yourself? Good here just goping to get the dog and walk him and stuff -ttyl yes please…
- Sep 6, 2008 4:54pm
Shawnhambler: well hello there how have you been?
- Aug 2, 2008 11:59pm
Shawnhambler: hi, how’s everything going these days? the summer has been great here and the sun uis shinning today
- Jul 19, 2008 11:51am
Shawnhambler: howdy - how have ya been doing? Good here - the sun has been comming out lately - kinda weird with the spring being late - so what’s new wqith you ? I am sure you have a story to tell me yeah eh
- Jun 12, 2008 9:12pm
Shawnhambler: hey lasy how are things going for yuou these days? thihngs are good here - warming up alot and the plants are growing up - Have ya been writitng much latlely? cioa for now eh
shawn.
- Jun 1, 2008 11:01am
Shawnhambler: howdy there crazy - so what’s new? I have been doing yeard work so I am just going to clean myself up now - ttyl eh!
shawn.
- May 1, 2008 5:31pm
Shawnhambler: your geat I like everything that you write makes my day thankyou hunny love
- Apr 23, 2008 11:55pm
Shawnhambler: yup uh h huh turning 33 tomorrow wooohoo
- Apr 21, 2008 10:52am
Mar 21, 2008 5:03pm

Shawnhambler: yeah everything isd going good - back at workm now and everything - so what are you writting? yeah my back is gone - don;t know what on earth is going on 3with that - talkibng with my friend and she says a back massage wo4rks wonders - how are you at back massaging? Just heading out to walk a dog that I really like - cripes the old lady had a dong that died and she is o0ld a too and somebody up the lake gave her another dog - a 3month old black lab - she dopesn;t bother walking it that much so I volenttered to do that for her - ttyl
shawn Mar 21, 2008 5:03pm
Shawnhambler: cripes I thought you were from england opr sometihng - but your in the states eh? yeah you can stay withme at my house if you come or heck how about a camping trip? I love camping with friends and drinking - cripes I had a great few trips last summer -
- Jan 21, 2008 4:51pm
Shawnhambler: yeah everything is great today - the weather is smashing good but a LITTLE ON THE COLD SIDE (THINK i TOLD YOU THAT) sorry for thta I hit the caps by accident - so what are you doing today then? see I have never been over the ocean and they do everything differant there yeah?

Jan 21, 2008 4:40pm

Shawnhambler: Lia I love that name - yeah the moon is going to be full christmas eve here that is tomorrow eh - yeah so I’m having a little party tomorrow night - want to come? hey maybe stay the night eh - where do you live again - hey where is your man? Fill me in

Dec 23, 2007 10:43pm

18 April 2010 • lia asshats cyber-stalking fuck off hassles lolz needy-greedies pathetic yes this is actual wordage from pathetic lonely lotharios Er ist ein taube Nuß

~empty spaces~

There was always another demand -
a knock on the door
the ring of the phone
the incessantly blinking stumble icon-
the flag up on the mailbox icon-
the friendly reminders of
the overflowing in-box.

File under C for:

coercion
cajoling
childish
cries
claims
commands
compulsions
claim-staking
creeps.

The online community creating its own electronic shop of horrors -
FEED ME! they demanded.

(Cyber-stalking is so much easier than following people at the mall…)

And what shall we use to
fill the empty spaces?

And how does one respond
To the endless clamoring for one’s attention?

What occurs when infinite need meets endless opportunity?

One begins to think ceaselessly of oblivion-

Perhaps non-existence would be less painful
than another needy greedy
with a high demand
and a low threshold for rejection
too easily insulted
braced for affront

and ready for outrage …

Art via blackeri & elestrial, respectively.

11 March 2010 • asshats fuck off needy-greedies cyber-stalking pathetic

the needy-greedy

They assault blindly and quickly -

almost without thought -

and blame it on you
for not following the script
(which you never got… )

Well, I’m sorry you’re alone.
Perhaps it’s not an accident.

Maybe you are complicit in your isolation.

You might be somewhat to blame for your companion-less cloistering.

Or perhaps it’s all just a big misunderstanding.

And if people only took to time to know you -
they would love you as you so richly deserve…

The point is …

it’s not my problem either way.

I am not a part of your drama
or trauma
or hassle.

I merely exist…
somewhere in the ether
eternally out of reach

And for today
and the rest of your life

I will be nothing more than an idea in your head
to do with as you like,

(so long as you)

Leave Me Alone.

10 March 2010 • asshats fuck off lia cyber-stalking guilt men pathetic Whinge

Drink some vodka, bitch

Bored and lonely, in desperate decay
Wish I had someone, but the girls ran away.
When they get to know me, they exit with speed -
I’m a painfully obvious Black Hole of Need.

So I’ll act out online with the com-mun-it-tee
(The only females who will tolerate me)
And should they resist? Well I’ll punish them so!
Scold them and mold them with tantrums I throw!

Let’s see - this one hasn’t written all day!
I’ve checked dozens of times, but she’s still away!
I know, I’ll use guilt and tell her I’m lonely
Make sure that she knows she’s my one and only!

This one won’t agree with a word that I say!
(Like I’m going to make sense with the words I convey!)
I’ll just change definitions - and blow some more smoke
And when proven wrong, I’ll just say it’s a joke.

This girl won’t date me - (from another county)
The farther the better - (no intimacy)
And when she reacts like she’s heard my routines,
I’ll simply say that she don’t know what love means.

And here’s a chick now I’ve tried to impress
If only to get pix of what’s up her dress.
I’m hoping to get something off of her chest…
To see while I rub myself here at my desk.

And now - I will troll in search of my prey
If I keep on asking I’ll get lucky some day!